"Put Your Hand Over Your Mouth!"

I have a friend with whom I love to spend time! One reason I love to be with this particular friend is because she is a great listener. I find this to be a rare quality among women. Personally, I am working on becoming a better listener. It is hard to be a good listener. Maybe you can relate? It is easy for my mind to start processing my next sentence even before the person I am talking with has finished their thought. Listening takes discipline and lots of energy. Especially for women! But, this quality is worth learning. And I plan on learning, with the help of the Lord, to be a great listener despite myself and my natural tendencies. Spending time with my friend and learning from her has helped me in this area.

So, why is this friend a great listener? She is a wise and mature Christian woman. She models "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." from James 1:19. (It is funny that James says "Everyone..." Try to count on one hand those you know who are "quick to listen and slow to speak"). So, not only is my friend a great listener but she fascinates me with how slowly she chooses her words. She chooses them so carefully, I can see her contemplating whether she should say them or not. This requires so much discipline. It makes me think she is not only listening to me, but checking her answer in prayer with the Lord. It is safe to say that when she speaks, I listen, and I listen carefully. Because she is "slow to speak," her words tend to be profound! This is another quality I aspire to! It is nice to have someone in my life who is such a great example to me of listening and thoughtful speaking. Although I am sure she is not perfect in this area, she is a living example of how it looks to listen and speak slowly.

So, how do I model this listening and slow speech I see in my friend? I was asking the Lord this question when I thought of a phrase in the Bible. It is so practical to my learning process, it made me laugh. The phrase which came to my mind was "PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH!" This was definitely the Lord speaking directly to me. He always lightens my deep thoughts with laughter and practical help. So, I got out my Bible and found that the whole verse was exactly what I needed. Proverbs 30:32 says; "If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, put your hand over your mouth!" Now, I can't remember the last time I planned evil, but I can recall many times that I have been foolish and exalted myself. It was helpful for me to see my quick words and bad listening skills as foolishness and pride. Sometimes the truth hurts for a few seconds but then it is so freeing. If I am thoughtless and impulsive in the things I say when I really should be listening, I will regret saying those things. And I would like to decrease my ratio of regretful statements to blessings.

As I reflected on the year, 2011, I really felt the Lord putting the emphasis on my mouth. Sometimes we find our greatest weakness rests in the area of our greatest strength. If you read my last blog in 2011, you would see it was about making sure to bless with a "Gift of Words." The Lord assured me to let every word of blessing flow without restraint from my mouth, but also to be disciplined when other words are formulating in my heart. Words such as advice or reproof or plans or angry outbursts. My mouth is meant to bless and not to curse (James 3:10). If what I am about to say is not absolutely, for sure, a blessing, then I will follow this simple resolution in 2012: I will "put my hand over my mouth!"