Recently, I spent some time with a person. A person who I want to care about me and my life. In our conversations, I kept trying to tell her what I was doing and how I was feeling and the feedback I was receiving clearly indicated that she does not care. When our time together was over, I felt empty and deeply hurt. My mind was racing and I was not thinking clearly. I was in a fog! I have spent the last several days processing this situation and I am hoping it will help someone else!
Now this is not the first time I have experienced this disappointment and discouragement after spending time with this person. So I have been trying to develop a plan that will relieve me from getting my heart broken over and over again. I know from the Lord that leaving this relationship would not be His will. I am a very important part of this person's life and she looks forward to our times together. I don't think she is aware of her lack of care and telling her would just lead to guilty feelings. She is under a lot of stress and lives in difficult circumstances. So confrontation or leaving the situation behind are not options.
In processing this information, a close friend and very wise woman gave me a good visual. She helped me to see this problem as a "hook." So the hook is the fact that she does not care and I get caught because of my unwillingness to believe this fact. Each time I am away from this person, I fantasize that she cares! So I go into the circumstance looking for the care I so desperately want. This is like a fish looking at a piece of bait on a hook. He is looking for food to nourish him, but he is staring at bait which will destroy him. If he goes after it, thinking it is food and something he needs for survival, then he gets hooked. If the fish were full and not in need of the food, maybe he would see more clearly and not take the bait.
So here is the plan. First of all, no more fantasizing that this person cares. The truth: she does not care. In Hebrews 13:5, it says; "...be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" This truth is much more important than the hook I was letting get imbedded in my soul. God cares! He shows me His love and care each day! He has sent many people into my life to love and care for me. One way I will prepare for the next time I see this uncaring person is to plan time around that difficult visit with others who DO care. This will give me a cushion on each side of our visit. This is a way of being gentle to myself. I will go into these dangerous waters as a well-fed fish. I will be full of the caring of God and the caring of my friends so I will not take the bait and get caught by the hook.
Do you have a relationship in your life that is destructive to you? Do you want them to care, to be proud, to love you, to accept you, etc.? Are you going into it over and over without accepting the truth? It is time to look straight at the truth and accept it! And although this relationship is not the way you want it to be, you have a choice to make! Maybe it is not God's will that you stay in this relationship at all. But if leaving is not an option, you need to ask yourself some questions: Are you going to take the bait? Or are you going to take care of yourself? Look around and see all God has provided for you! God is providing what you seek from this difficult relationship in other ways! Be content with what you have! Love this person without needing anything from them! You will be safe in the arms of your Heavenly Father! He will never leave you nor forsake you! I am making the choice, I don't want to be caught in this hook again. So if you are willing, let's do it together. Accept the truth! Don't take the bait!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Your Name??
On Monday nights, I have a Bible Study in my home with a group of college age students. A few weeks ago, the Lord lead me to do a study on names. It started when we were studying Daniel 1 and I noticed the Babylonians changed the names of Daniel and his friends when they were brought into captivity. This was a plot of the enemy to steal what belonged to these men.(John 10:10) Although they were in captivity in the physical realm, Daniel and his friends did not allow the name changes to alter who they were. They chose to believe God for their identity rather than give in to the change made by the Babylonians. For example, Daniel means "God is my Judge." If you read Daniel, you will notice he lives up to his name. In all of Daniel's endeavors, he chooses to find ways to honor God. He keeps his trust in God and ultimately he acts according to God's commandments putting the judgement of God above the authority of his Babylonian captors. He knows who he is and it leads to Babylonian kings confessing that Daniel's God is the Most High God. In Daniel 2:46, King Nebuchadnezzar, who was the most powerful man in the world at that time, falls on his face before Daniel and says in verse 47; "...Surely your God is the God of gods and the Lord of kings..." It takes the power of God to cause the most powerful king in the world to bow down to his slave!
Daniel spent 70 years of his life in captivity in Babylon, but not one of his days was spent in spiritual captivity. His spirit was free as he served God. It led him into a position of leadership in the greatest nation in the world even though he was technically a slave! Daniel gained his freedom by knowing who he was and knowing who God is! God had written in the DNA of Daniel that he would be a man who would honor God as the Judge of his life. And Daniel lived up to the call and was a powerful and well rewarded man regardless of his physical captivity!
I find great freedom in knowing who I am and who God created me to be! My first name, Kim, means; "Ruler or Fortress." My middle name, Annette, means; "Gracious." So as I interpret this name, I always remember I am a "Fortress of Grace" and a "Gracious Ruler." When my mother named me, she did not know the meaning of these names, but God knew who I was and led her to give me this name that reflects my DNA and points to my calling.
I have always been a person to whom others run to find safety when the trauma of life rages.
Before I understood who I was and who God had created me to be, these situations caused me stress and serious insecurity. I would freak out when people turned to me for help, and wonder what I should do. I have never been comfortable with death or even hospitals for that matter. This is where my middle name comes in: Gracious. I depend completely on the "grace of God" to show me what to do. I could never be a fortress for anyone in their time of need without understanding my total dependance on God to provide for the person. Ultimately, I know Jesus is their fortress but He uses me to act as His gracious safety agent in tramatic situations. Now that I know these things, I respond to the calls and go into all kinds of circumstances with the peace and confidence of knowing that God intended, before the foundations of the world, to use me in this way in this generation!
Self-awareness is a great tool in living a free and effective life on earth. We need to know who we are and live in this knowledge no matter what our circumstances. I have been called lots of names in my life other than the one God has given me. Names such as useless, worthless, fearful, foolish, bossy, arrogant, and many others including some that are inappropriate to mention in writing. For years, I believed some of these names and got off course from the life God has created me for. I wasted some time going back and forth from who I knew I was to who people around me said I was. Now, I stand strong and self-assured in the revelation of Jesus and identity He has given me. His presence, power, and love in my life are all the security I need to be free and useful for His glory!
Who are you? What is written in your DNA? Who has God created you to be? What is the meaning of your name? Take the time today to find out and hold onto the truth above the lies the enemy is trying to convince you of! You are very valuable to this generation! Only you can do what you were created to do! Jesus says in John 8:31-32; ..."If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."
Check out the meaning of your name at the website: http://www.name-meanings.com/search.php
Daniel spent 70 years of his life in captivity in Babylon, but not one of his days was spent in spiritual captivity. His spirit was free as he served God. It led him into a position of leadership in the greatest nation in the world even though he was technically a slave! Daniel gained his freedom by knowing who he was and knowing who God is! God had written in the DNA of Daniel that he would be a man who would honor God as the Judge of his life. And Daniel lived up to the call and was a powerful and well rewarded man regardless of his physical captivity!
I find great freedom in knowing who I am and who God created me to be! My first name, Kim, means; "Ruler or Fortress." My middle name, Annette, means; "Gracious." So as I interpret this name, I always remember I am a "Fortress of Grace" and a "Gracious Ruler." When my mother named me, she did not know the meaning of these names, but God knew who I was and led her to give me this name that reflects my DNA and points to my calling.
I have always been a person to whom others run to find safety when the trauma of life rages.
Before I understood who I was and who God had created me to be, these situations caused me stress and serious insecurity. I would freak out when people turned to me for help, and wonder what I should do. I have never been comfortable with death or even hospitals for that matter. This is where my middle name comes in: Gracious. I depend completely on the "grace of God" to show me what to do. I could never be a fortress for anyone in their time of need without understanding my total dependance on God to provide for the person. Ultimately, I know Jesus is their fortress but He uses me to act as His gracious safety agent in tramatic situations. Now that I know these things, I respond to the calls and go into all kinds of circumstances with the peace and confidence of knowing that God intended, before the foundations of the world, to use me in this way in this generation!
Self-awareness is a great tool in living a free and effective life on earth. We need to know who we are and live in this knowledge no matter what our circumstances. I have been called lots of names in my life other than the one God has given me. Names such as useless, worthless, fearful, foolish, bossy, arrogant, and many others including some that are inappropriate to mention in writing. For years, I believed some of these names and got off course from the life God has created me for. I wasted some time going back and forth from who I knew I was to who people around me said I was. Now, I stand strong and self-assured in the revelation of Jesus and identity He has given me. His presence, power, and love in my life are all the security I need to be free and useful for His glory!
Who are you? What is written in your DNA? Who has God created you to be? What is the meaning of your name? Take the time today to find out and hold onto the truth above the lies the enemy is trying to convince you of! You are very valuable to this generation! Only you can do what you were created to do! Jesus says in John 8:31-32; ..."If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."
Check out the meaning of your name at the website: http://www.name-meanings.com/search.php
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The Affectionate Love of Jesus
The fall season is always a hard transition for me. It is filled with scattered days of the sun and warmth of summer, and then, dreary days of the cold and harshness of the winter to come. I enjoy the colors of the fall leaves but in the back of my mind I know they are dying and will fall to the ground in a matter of weeks.
The cold weather really got to me today. So I spent some time sitting under a blanket on my couch. As the wind and the rain raged outside, I had my bible out and I was looking for some comfort and affection from Jesus! The Lord led me to a scripture I love from John 13. In verse 23 it says; "Now there was reclining on Jesus' bosom (chest) one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved." This scripture blesses me so much because of the physical closeness of Jesus to His disciple. I enjoy visualizing this intimate scene between close friends! I also love the fact that in this scripture and several others in this book, John, the author, refers to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." Again in John 21:20, John writes; "Then Peter turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper..." It is clear John understands he is loved by Jesus. It also seems to me it was important to him that he was able to lean against the bosom of the Lord at the last supper. Because he restates the physical affection of this scene once again in this gospel record, I believe it was a profound moment in his life. I also believe the Holy Spirit inspired him to focus on this moment because we need to be aware of the affectionate love of Jesus! Physical affection is a way Jesus communicated love to John and it is a way we communicate love to one another in this world.
It is amazing how the Lord communicates love and affection to me in so many ways in my life. He is so here WITH me! I feel so loved just like John!! One way is through providing me with parking spots. Today, I had a lunch date with a friend and was forced out from under my blanket and into the rain. I love my friend and loved our lunch together, but it was hard to get myself out in the rain. I know the rain is a blessing, but I was struggling with the cold weather pushing away the summer I have so enjoyed!! It is hard for me to let go of warm walks in the early mornings and sandals and shorts. But I made my way toward the restaurant and as I rounded the corner in the rain, I knew God felt the struggle going on in my heart. He knew I was mourning the end of the warm weather. I could feel His affectionate love coming close to me. So I looked around and said; "Lord, where is my parking spot?" At that moment, I saw a man walk out to get into his car and he opened up my spot right in front of the restaurant! This is the affectionate love of Jesus I experience over and over again. Although it was not literal, I could feel His arm around me. He understands what I am going through and He is there to light up my world. He touched me from heaven and I felt Him. At that moment, I could feel myself leaning against His chest!
When I feel the love of God poured out on me in numerous ways, day after day, I notice that it is impossible for me to hold back the affectionate love of Jesus. When I go to the homeless shelter, I hug all of the ladies! When my grandchildren are with me, I rub their heads and kiss and hug them. God has set me free to share His loving affection!! There is no need to filter it!!
So, as I say good-bye to the summer I loved, I will look forward to skiing and sledding and making hot chocolate. And cuddling by the fire with the ones I love. And especially the affectionate love of Jesus that He pours upon me no matter what the season:)
The cold weather really got to me today. So I spent some time sitting under a blanket on my couch. As the wind and the rain raged outside, I had my bible out and I was looking for some comfort and affection from Jesus! The Lord led me to a scripture I love from John 13. In verse 23 it says; "Now there was reclining on Jesus' bosom (chest) one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved." This scripture blesses me so much because of the physical closeness of Jesus to His disciple. I enjoy visualizing this intimate scene between close friends! I also love the fact that in this scripture and several others in this book, John, the author, refers to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." Again in John 21:20, John writes; "Then Peter turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper..." It is clear John understands he is loved by Jesus. It also seems to me it was important to him that he was able to lean against the bosom of the Lord at the last supper. Because he restates the physical affection of this scene once again in this gospel record, I believe it was a profound moment in his life. I also believe the Holy Spirit inspired him to focus on this moment because we need to be aware of the affectionate love of Jesus! Physical affection is a way Jesus communicated love to John and it is a way we communicate love to one another in this world.
It is amazing how the Lord communicates love and affection to me in so many ways in my life. He is so here WITH me! I feel so loved just like John!! One way is through providing me with parking spots. Today, I had a lunch date with a friend and was forced out from under my blanket and into the rain. I love my friend and loved our lunch together, but it was hard to get myself out in the rain. I know the rain is a blessing, but I was struggling with the cold weather pushing away the summer I have so enjoyed!! It is hard for me to let go of warm walks in the early mornings and sandals and shorts. But I made my way toward the restaurant and as I rounded the corner in the rain, I knew God felt the struggle going on in my heart. He knew I was mourning the end of the warm weather. I could feel His affectionate love coming close to me. So I looked around and said; "Lord, where is my parking spot?" At that moment, I saw a man walk out to get into his car and he opened up my spot right in front of the restaurant! This is the affectionate love of Jesus I experience over and over again. Although it was not literal, I could feel His arm around me. He understands what I am going through and He is there to light up my world. He touched me from heaven and I felt Him. At that moment, I could feel myself leaning against His chest!
When I feel the love of God poured out on me in numerous ways, day after day, I notice that it is impossible for me to hold back the affectionate love of Jesus. When I go to the homeless shelter, I hug all of the ladies! When my grandchildren are with me, I rub their heads and kiss and hug them. God has set me free to share His loving affection!! There is no need to filter it!!
So, as I say good-bye to the summer I loved, I will look forward to skiing and sledding and making hot chocolate. And cuddling by the fire with the ones I love. And especially the affectionate love of Jesus that He pours upon me no matter what the season:)
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