I was spending some time this morning thinking about an unpleasant time in my life. You may be wondering why I did this. It is amazing the useful information we can gain from our past bad experiences. I am a firm believer in Romans 8:28 which says; "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." I truly believe that through my agony, God was working for my good even when it did not seem like it. I remember questioning the Lord about this as I was going through this very hard situation! In the end I chose to believe this verse despite my circumstances and today I live with the benefits of all the glorious things that came from that trauma!
Lately, I have felt the leading of the Lord to revisit this time in my life to help others who are going through similar experiences. As I delved into this experience once again in my memories, I felt the confidence of knowing what worked in this situation to cultivate my healing. It is amazing to me how close the Lord walked with me during this traumatic and emotionally painful time. It also is mind-boggling how clearly I remember the days! It seems like a supernatural preservation of experiences for such a time as this!
As I was thinking and writing about these things, I realize that I am an expert on this topic. Expert means "experienced." The definition included the phrase; "having, involving, or displaying a special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience." Well, it is true! I am an expert in an area of life that no one would want to be called an expert in. It is one of the last experiences I would have chosen to participate in on the earth! The truth is, I have a special skill and knowledge in this horrid area of life not by my choice but by my experience, which was completely out of my control. So I am an expert by default!
The good news is, God will use this special skill and knowledge to help others. Even though I was unwilling at first, now I have information to help some other people through similar traumas. It is the way our society works. We depend on expert opinion to make good choices and learn tools to take us to a healthier place. Alcoholics Anonymous was founded on expert opinion. Bill Wilson, who was one of the founders of AA in 1934, was an alcoholic. He ruined his promising career on Wall Street because of his alcoholism. He used what he learned as Jesus helped him get free to conquer alcoholism in his own life and help countless others get free from this debilitating bondage. I am sure when Bill Wilson was a young boy he did not wish to be an expert on alcoholism. I am quite sure it was not his mother's dream for him. But, regardless, it became his life work and still impacts multitudes of people today! Praise God for this helpful organization!
I am grateful to the Lord that He is leading me to use my "essentially unwanted" expert information to bless those in His kingdom. He has healed my wounds of shame, hurt, and anger so that I can freely share this information with people who need help through my experience! Are there any areas where you are an "expert by default?" Ask the Lord to prove Romans 8:28 in your life! He wants to use all things!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
"Put Your Hand Over Your Mouth!"
I have a friend with whom I love to spend time! One reason I love to be with this particular friend is because she is a great listener. I find this to be a rare quality among women. Personally, I am working on becoming a better listener. It is hard to be a good listener. Maybe you can relate? It is easy for my mind to start processing my next sentence even before the person I am talking with has finished their thought. Listening takes discipline and lots of energy. Especially for women! But, this quality is worth learning. And I plan on learning, with the help of the Lord, to be a great listener despite myself and my natural tendencies. Spending time with my friend and learning from her has helped me in this area.
So, why is this friend a great listener? She is a wise and mature Christian woman. She models "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." from James 1:19. (It is funny that James says "Everyone..." Try to count on one hand those you know who are "quick to listen and slow to speak"). So, not only is my friend a great listener but she fascinates me with how slowly she chooses her words. She chooses them so carefully, I can see her contemplating whether she should say them or not. This requires so much discipline. It makes me think she is not only listening to me, but checking her answer in prayer with the Lord. It is safe to say that when she speaks, I listen, and I listen carefully. Because she is "slow to speak," her words tend to be profound! This is another quality I aspire to! It is nice to have someone in my life who is such a great example to me of listening and thoughtful speaking. Although I am sure she is not perfect in this area, she is a living example of how it looks to listen and speak slowly.
So, how do I model this listening and slow speech I see in my friend? I was asking the Lord this question when I thought of a phrase in the Bible. It is so practical to my learning process, it made me laugh. The phrase which came to my mind was "PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH!" This was definitely the Lord speaking directly to me. He always lightens my deep thoughts with laughter and practical help. So, I got out my Bible and found that the whole verse was exactly what I needed. Proverbs 30:32 says; "If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, put your hand over your mouth!" Now, I can't remember the last time I planned evil, but I can recall many times that I have been foolish and exalted myself. It was helpful for me to see my quick words and bad listening skills as foolishness and pride. Sometimes the truth hurts for a few seconds but then it is so freeing. If I am thoughtless and impulsive in the things I say when I really should be listening, I will regret saying those things. And I would like to decrease my ratio of regretful statements to blessings.
As I reflected on the year, 2011, I really felt the Lord putting the emphasis on my mouth. Sometimes we find our greatest weakness rests in the area of our greatest strength. If you read my last blog in 2011, you would see it was about making sure to bless with a "Gift of Words." The Lord assured me to let every word of blessing flow without restraint from my mouth, but also to be disciplined when other words are formulating in my heart. Words such as advice or reproof or plans or angry outbursts. My mouth is meant to bless and not to curse (James 3:10). If what I am about to say is not absolutely, for sure, a blessing, then I will follow this simple resolution in 2012: I will "put my hand over my mouth!"
So, why is this friend a great listener? She is a wise and mature Christian woman. She models "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." from James 1:19. (It is funny that James says "Everyone..." Try to count on one hand those you know who are "quick to listen and slow to speak"). So, not only is my friend a great listener but she fascinates me with how slowly she chooses her words. She chooses them so carefully, I can see her contemplating whether she should say them or not. This requires so much discipline. It makes me think she is not only listening to me, but checking her answer in prayer with the Lord. It is safe to say that when she speaks, I listen, and I listen carefully. Because she is "slow to speak," her words tend to be profound! This is another quality I aspire to! It is nice to have someone in my life who is such a great example to me of listening and thoughtful speaking. Although I am sure she is not perfect in this area, she is a living example of how it looks to listen and speak slowly.
So, how do I model this listening and slow speech I see in my friend? I was asking the Lord this question when I thought of a phrase in the Bible. It is so practical to my learning process, it made me laugh. The phrase which came to my mind was "PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH!" This was definitely the Lord speaking directly to me. He always lightens my deep thoughts with laughter and practical help. So, I got out my Bible and found that the whole verse was exactly what I needed. Proverbs 30:32 says; "If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, put your hand over your mouth!" Now, I can't remember the last time I planned evil, but I can recall many times that I have been foolish and exalted myself. It was helpful for me to see my quick words and bad listening skills as foolishness and pride. Sometimes the truth hurts for a few seconds but then it is so freeing. If I am thoughtless and impulsive in the things I say when I really should be listening, I will regret saying those things. And I would like to decrease my ratio of regretful statements to blessings.
As I reflected on the year, 2011, I really felt the Lord putting the emphasis on my mouth. Sometimes we find our greatest weakness rests in the area of our greatest strength. If you read my last blog in 2011, you would see it was about making sure to bless with a "Gift of Words." The Lord assured me to let every word of blessing flow without restraint from my mouth, but also to be disciplined when other words are formulating in my heart. Words such as advice or reproof or plans or angry outbursts. My mouth is meant to bless and not to curse (James 3:10). If what I am about to say is not absolutely, for sure, a blessing, then I will follow this simple resolution in 2012: I will "put my hand over my mouth!"
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