Last weekend, I found myself on a snowy highway stuck in a car for over an hour. I was heading home from a long week of travel and was not in the most patient mood. I was with my family and I could tell by the looks on their faces that I was not responding well. Eventually, we decided to get off the closed highway by driving the wrong way on the shoulder, heading up the exit on-ramp, and taking another route which added 100 miles to our drive. When we got to the other highway, it was closed too. This is when I got out of the car and screamed some things into the air that had been going through my mind and heart for the last several hours.
Although I have other good qualities, this was not my best moment. I was not happy with myself and I know my family did not know how to help me. Who knows what the other people in their cars were thinking. But, at that moment, when I was at a very bad place personally, I felt the acceptance of God. As I looked out over the beautiful white snowy landscape, I was reminded of the grace of God. I knew in my heart that Jesus understood my frustration because He made me. It says in Psalm 139 that God is "intimately aquainted with all of my ways." I love this!! Jesus knows the deepest parts of my nature and He still loves me. He has not missed one moment of my life. He understands me more than I understand myself. So, I prayed a prayer that I often pray when I am at the end of myself, "Lord, You made me this way, please HELP!"
When I am seeking help from the Lord, I usually search through my Bible to find an answer. One verse that really was speaking to me was Hebrews 2:18; "Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to HELP those who are being tempted." Later in Hebrews 4:15-16 it says..."Jesus was tempted in ALL things, yet without sin"... and that we can ..."draw near with confidence (come boldly) to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to HELP in time of need."
I love this freedom in my relationship with Jesus. I don't have to filter anything that I come to Him with. His throne of grace is open to me at ALL times. And He understands what I am suffering because He came to earth in the flesh and suffered everything that I will ever suffer. So when I was experiencing what I look back on as a 46-year old temper tantrum, I know that as I brought this frustration to my God, He did not judge me. He did not say, "Kim, there are other people suffering more right now." He said, "Kim, come to Me. I love you just the way you are right now. I will help you. You are important to Me. I understand how you are feeling." He received me into His arms of grace and mercy. He comforted me and helped me to make it through. So, if you are stuck in any way, go boldly to the throne of grace and pray a simple prayer. HELP!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Do Not Fear!
I was on a flight to Denver on Friday and we were experiencing very high winds. As we were descending into Denver, the wind was tossing our plane around as if it were some sort of toy. My heart started to race and I began to panic! I cried out to the Lord to put His hand under the plane and His angels on the wings and stop it from tossing. Often, the Lord has done this for me, but this time I felt He was asking me to ride it out.
I closed my eyes and as I did, I heard some verses from a song by Laura Story called "Perfect Peace." The verse says; "Although I may not calm the storms around you, you can hide in me... I will give you perfect peace." Isaiah 26:3 says "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." This word steadfast means "firm in belief, determination, and adherence: loyal, immovable." So I focused on Jesus and the truth and as I did, my fear lifted and was replaced by peace.
Going from fear to peace has been the greatest transformation in my life. I remember times when I have been on a plane and my husband has had to talk me out of standing up and screaming, "Let me out!" In my lifetime I have fought against every kind of fear imaginable, such as; fear of flying, heights, abandonment, rejection, death, public speaking, crowds, etc. Overcoming this fear is my greatest testimony to the power of God. Overcoming fear does not mean that I do not feel it at times. It means that when I feel it, I do not let it control my life. I take my mind off of the fear by focusing on the Truth.
Did you know that there are 365 references in the bible that say, "Do not fear." This is so sweet of the Lord. One for everyday of the year. There are even more verses which address other aspects of fear. One of my favorites is in 2 Timothy 1:7. "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." In Psalm 139, it says that; "God knows the number of my days." In Psalm 23, it says; "surely goodness and mercy will follow me all of the days of my life." In Isaiah 41:10 it says; "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
As the Holy Spirit reminded me of these scriptures, I began to relax. So, for the remainder of this flight I rested in His peace. I remember a smile coming to my face as God reminded me that no matter what, I would not leave this earth until I have fulfilled the purpose for which He created me. He spoke to me of His love and His faithfulness and the way that He was protecting me. I was in His hand. My eyes were closed and tears of joy were spilling out. I was focused on Jesus and His truth and at that point, I never wanted to leave this peaceful and beautiful state I was in.
As we began to land, my husband took my hand as he usually does, and I opened my eyes to see the runway bouncing around on either side of me. The plane was teetering and tottering and through God's strength, I was not scared--in fact, I was wishing the flight were a bit longer so I could stay for awhile. This caused me to laugh out loud! Wow! The power of God is amazing!! Even the worst place can be the best place when I am experiencing an intimate moment with Jesus. He can deliver us from all of our fears!!
I closed my eyes and as I did, I heard some verses from a song by Laura Story called "Perfect Peace." The verse says; "Although I may not calm the storms around you, you can hide in me... I will give you perfect peace." Isaiah 26:3 says "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." This word steadfast means "firm in belief, determination, and adherence: loyal, immovable." So I focused on Jesus and the truth and as I did, my fear lifted and was replaced by peace.
Going from fear to peace has been the greatest transformation in my life. I remember times when I have been on a plane and my husband has had to talk me out of standing up and screaming, "Let me out!" In my lifetime I have fought against every kind of fear imaginable, such as; fear of flying, heights, abandonment, rejection, death, public speaking, crowds, etc. Overcoming this fear is my greatest testimony to the power of God. Overcoming fear does not mean that I do not feel it at times. It means that when I feel it, I do not let it control my life. I take my mind off of the fear by focusing on the Truth.
Did you know that there are 365 references in the bible that say, "Do not fear." This is so sweet of the Lord. One for everyday of the year. There are even more verses which address other aspects of fear. One of my favorites is in 2 Timothy 1:7. "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." In Psalm 139, it says that; "God knows the number of my days." In Psalm 23, it says; "surely goodness and mercy will follow me all of the days of my life." In Isaiah 41:10 it says; "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
As the Holy Spirit reminded me of these scriptures, I began to relax. So, for the remainder of this flight I rested in His peace. I remember a smile coming to my face as God reminded me that no matter what, I would not leave this earth until I have fulfilled the purpose for which He created me. He spoke to me of His love and His faithfulness and the way that He was protecting me. I was in His hand. My eyes were closed and tears of joy were spilling out. I was focused on Jesus and His truth and at that point, I never wanted to leave this peaceful and beautiful state I was in.
As we began to land, my husband took my hand as he usually does, and I opened my eyes to see the runway bouncing around on either side of me. The plane was teetering and tottering and through God's strength, I was not scared--in fact, I was wishing the flight were a bit longer so I could stay for awhile. This caused me to laugh out loud! Wow! The power of God is amazing!! Even the worst place can be the best place when I am experiencing an intimate moment with Jesus. He can deliver us from all of our fears!!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Community
Several months ago, I was sitting at a stop sign on a busy street waiting to make a right turn. I looked to the right, and then I looked to the left and was waiting for an opening to merge into the traffic. I saw a car signal to make a right turn so I took my foot off of the brake and began to slowly roll up. At that moment, my daughter screamed with a shriek that scared me into pushing hard on my brake. At this point I was horrified as I saw a woman in front of my car falling off her bike onto the street. I immediately jumped out and checked on the woman. Many cars stopped. I helped her to the side of the road and the paramedics came. Fortunately she had just scraped her leg and arm and was able to ride her bike home. In the process that took about an hour, I got to know her a bit and she gave me her business card so that I could call and check on her the next day.
When I called her the next day, I decided to invite her to coffee and we met. After we were settled with our drinks, she said something shocking to me. She said, "Kim, I just want to thank you for bumping into me with your car. I had lost my sense of community and I felt like no one cared about me in this city. Yesterday, when I was laying on the ground, I saw the concern on the faces of so many people and I saw the effort that all of you made to help me. Now I feel much more content living here in Flagstaff." At that point, I realized that I did not have an accident, but was being set up for a divine appointment. For all of these months, I have thought about this statement that she made to me. Yes, I have moments of loneliness, but in general, I am so connected with people that I am always aware that someone cares.
In Hebrews 10:25 it says, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another..." This verse was written in the Bible not for our punishment but for our protection. God wants us to experience an abundant and rich life and our life was meant to have other people share in it. In the first chapter of Genesis when God was creating all that we see, it says that "God saw that it was good." This phrase is repeated six times and in verse 31 it says, "God saw all that He had made, and it was VERY good." Then in Genesis 2:18, the Lord says, "...It is not good for man to be alone..." I know that this verse is usually used to talk about marriage, but as I reflected on the lonely state of the biker that I met, I think it is more comprehensive.
As I look back on my life, I remember times when I have felt severe loneliness and depression. These were times that I did not feel connected. Since then, I have learned ways to care for myself that cause me to feel the community that God wants for me. I call these my lifelines. One thing I do each week is I have a bible study that meets at my house. This is great because even if I am in a bad mood or feel like isolating, I can't cancel because they are coming to my house. I also schedule in walks, family dinners, prayer groups, work-outs, conversations, mentoring, dates with my husband and church on Sunday to share with the ones that I love. This keeps me healthy, happy, and more productive. Remember, it is a command from God that is good for me. And it is a great pleasure and joy to my soul.
I do not do this only for myself, but I do it for the health and well being of the people that God has placed into my life. People need people. We are created that way. We need God most of all, but we also need each other to share all of the gifts and pleasures God has given to us. We need each other to be encouraged in hard times and to celebrate in good times. If I can place my head on my pillow each night and know that I have blessed at least one person in my day, I am thankful to God that He has used me to communicate His love.
So, please remember this: It is not necessary to wait for a car to bump into you. If you are feeling lonely and disconnected, go to the nearest church, join a bible study or a book club, ask someone you know to go out to coffee. And if you can't do this for yourself at this point, do it for others. You are created as a gift to God and to other people. Share yourself and be a blessing! You will be richly rewarded!!
When I called her the next day, I decided to invite her to coffee and we met. After we were settled with our drinks, she said something shocking to me. She said, "Kim, I just want to thank you for bumping into me with your car. I had lost my sense of community and I felt like no one cared about me in this city. Yesterday, when I was laying on the ground, I saw the concern on the faces of so many people and I saw the effort that all of you made to help me. Now I feel much more content living here in Flagstaff." At that point, I realized that I did not have an accident, but was being set up for a divine appointment. For all of these months, I have thought about this statement that she made to me. Yes, I have moments of loneliness, but in general, I am so connected with people that I am always aware that someone cares.
In Hebrews 10:25 it says, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another..." This verse was written in the Bible not for our punishment but for our protection. God wants us to experience an abundant and rich life and our life was meant to have other people share in it. In the first chapter of Genesis when God was creating all that we see, it says that "God saw that it was good." This phrase is repeated six times and in verse 31 it says, "God saw all that He had made, and it was VERY good." Then in Genesis 2:18, the Lord says, "...It is not good for man to be alone..." I know that this verse is usually used to talk about marriage, but as I reflected on the lonely state of the biker that I met, I think it is more comprehensive.
As I look back on my life, I remember times when I have felt severe loneliness and depression. These were times that I did not feel connected. Since then, I have learned ways to care for myself that cause me to feel the community that God wants for me. I call these my lifelines. One thing I do each week is I have a bible study that meets at my house. This is great because even if I am in a bad mood or feel like isolating, I can't cancel because they are coming to my house. I also schedule in walks, family dinners, prayer groups, work-outs, conversations, mentoring, dates with my husband and church on Sunday to share with the ones that I love. This keeps me healthy, happy, and more productive. Remember, it is a command from God that is good for me. And it is a great pleasure and joy to my soul.
I do not do this only for myself, but I do it for the health and well being of the people that God has placed into my life. People need people. We are created that way. We need God most of all, but we also need each other to share all of the gifts and pleasures God has given to us. We need each other to be encouraged in hard times and to celebrate in good times. If I can place my head on my pillow each night and know that I have blessed at least one person in my day, I am thankful to God that He has used me to communicate His love.
So, please remember this: It is not necessary to wait for a car to bump into you. If you are feeling lonely and disconnected, go to the nearest church, join a bible study or a book club, ask someone you know to go out to coffee. And if you can't do this for yourself at this point, do it for others. You are created as a gift to God and to other people. Share yourself and be a blessing! You will be richly rewarded!!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Mosiac
I was talking to a friend this week and she shared some news with me that really broke my heart. She had made a decision several years ago that I could see was going to cause some long term pain to her and several other people that I know and love. The realization of this fact weighed heavy on my heart for several days, and I was finding it hard to see the light at the end of this tunnel.
Through this process, I was reminded of the brokenness of my own life. All of the bad choices I have made. The way my choices and rebellion against God have caused so many people that I love to suffer. These were sobering thoughts but the Lord was reminding me of these things so that I could see the hope in my friend's situation.
God was showing me that I am like a Mosaic. God has taken my life and all of the broken pieces and has put them together to make something new and beautiful. I have had the opportunity in my life to make a few mosaics. The process requires much observation from the artist. I remember spending so much time staring at and studying the broken pieces to find the vision of how something beautiful could come from them and to know how they would fit together. It says in Psalm 139:17 "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered." The Lord thinks about me and you more that we can number. This is a comfort to my soul. God is the artist in my life that is looking carefully at my brokenness and will work miracles to make my life something beautiful that will shine for His glory.
What is my part? My part is to present the broken pieces to the Master artist. Psalm 51:17 says, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." The word sacrifice means "an offering to a deity of something precious." I love this verse! What is precious to God is our broken spirit, our broken heart, our brokenness in general. This is what God wants from us. For us to bring our brokenness to Him. He wants us to come to Him and ask Him to take these broken pieces and make something beautiful.
I was listening to a song today that summed up all of my thoughts. The song is by Laura Story and is called "I Think of You." The verse says, "I think of You who shines with endless light through broken jars of clay, I think of You redeeming every part of each day that You made." This is what God does in our lives. This is why we are never without hope. Can you see your life as a beautiful mosaic masterpiece with the Light of Jesus shining through?
2 Corinthians 4:7- We now have this light (the Light of Jesus) shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
Through this process, I was reminded of the brokenness of my own life. All of the bad choices I have made. The way my choices and rebellion against God have caused so many people that I love to suffer. These were sobering thoughts but the Lord was reminding me of these things so that I could see the hope in my friend's situation.
God was showing me that I am like a Mosaic. God has taken my life and all of the broken pieces and has put them together to make something new and beautiful. I have had the opportunity in my life to make a few mosaics. The process requires much observation from the artist. I remember spending so much time staring at and studying the broken pieces to find the vision of how something beautiful could come from them and to know how they would fit together. It says in Psalm 139:17 "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered." The Lord thinks about me and you more that we can number. This is a comfort to my soul. God is the artist in my life that is looking carefully at my brokenness and will work miracles to make my life something beautiful that will shine for His glory.
What is my part? My part is to present the broken pieces to the Master artist. Psalm 51:17 says, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." The word sacrifice means "an offering to a deity of something precious." I love this verse! What is precious to God is our broken spirit, our broken heart, our brokenness in general. This is what God wants from us. For us to bring our brokenness to Him. He wants us to come to Him and ask Him to take these broken pieces and make something beautiful.
I was listening to a song today that summed up all of my thoughts. The song is by Laura Story and is called "I Think of You." The verse says, "I think of You who shines with endless light through broken jars of clay, I think of You redeeming every part of each day that You made." This is what God does in our lives. This is why we are never without hope. Can you see your life as a beautiful mosaic masterpiece with the Light of Jesus shining through?
2 Corinthians 4:7- We now have this light (the Light of Jesus) shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
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