I was spending some time this morning thinking about an unpleasant time in my life. You may be wondering why I did this. It is amazing the useful information we can gain from our past bad experiences. I am a firm believer in Romans 8:28 which says; "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." I truly believe that through my agony, God was working for my good even when it did not seem like it. I remember questioning the Lord about this as I was going through this very hard situation! In the end I chose to believe this verse despite my circumstances and today I live with the benefits of all the glorious things that came from that trauma!
Lately, I have felt the leading of the Lord to revisit this time in my life to help others who are going through similar experiences. As I delved into this experience once again in my memories, I felt the confidence of knowing what worked in this situation to cultivate my healing. It is amazing to me how close the Lord walked with me during this traumatic and emotionally painful time. It also is mind-boggling how clearly I remember the days! It seems like a supernatural preservation of experiences for such a time as this!
As I was thinking and writing about these things, I realize that I am an expert on this topic. Expert means "experienced." The definition included the phrase; "having, involving, or displaying a special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience." Well, it is true! I am an expert in an area of life that no one would want to be called an expert in. It is one of the last experiences I would have chosen to participate in on the earth! The truth is, I have a special skill and knowledge in this horrid area of life not by my choice but by my experience, which was completely out of my control. So I am an expert by default!
The good news is, God will use this special skill and knowledge to help others. Even though I was unwilling at first, now I have information to help some other people through similar traumas. It is the way our society works. We depend on expert opinion to make good choices and learn tools to take us to a healthier place. Alcoholics Anonymous was founded on expert opinion. Bill Wilson, who was one of the founders of AA in 1934, was an alcoholic. He ruined his promising career on Wall Street because of his alcoholism. He used what he learned as Jesus helped him get free to conquer alcoholism in his own life and help countless others get free from this debilitating bondage. I am sure when Bill Wilson was a young boy he did not wish to be an expert on alcoholism. I am quite sure it was not his mother's dream for him. But, regardless, it became his life work and still impacts multitudes of people today! Praise God for this helpful organization!
I am grateful to the Lord that He is leading me to use my "essentially unwanted" expert information to bless those in His kingdom. He has healed my wounds of shame, hurt, and anger so that I can freely share this information with people who need help through my experience! Are there any areas where you are an "expert by default?" Ask the Lord to prove Romans 8:28 in your life! He wants to use all things!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
"Put Your Hand Over Your Mouth!"
I have a friend with whom I love to spend time! One reason I love to be with this particular friend is because she is a great listener. I find this to be a rare quality among women. Personally, I am working on becoming a better listener. It is hard to be a good listener. Maybe you can relate? It is easy for my mind to start processing my next sentence even before the person I am talking with has finished their thought. Listening takes discipline and lots of energy. Especially for women! But, this quality is worth learning. And I plan on learning, with the help of the Lord, to be a great listener despite myself and my natural tendencies. Spending time with my friend and learning from her has helped me in this area.
So, why is this friend a great listener? She is a wise and mature Christian woman. She models "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." from James 1:19. (It is funny that James says "Everyone..." Try to count on one hand those you know who are "quick to listen and slow to speak"). So, not only is my friend a great listener but she fascinates me with how slowly she chooses her words. She chooses them so carefully, I can see her contemplating whether she should say them or not. This requires so much discipline. It makes me think she is not only listening to me, but checking her answer in prayer with the Lord. It is safe to say that when she speaks, I listen, and I listen carefully. Because she is "slow to speak," her words tend to be profound! This is another quality I aspire to! It is nice to have someone in my life who is such a great example to me of listening and thoughtful speaking. Although I am sure she is not perfect in this area, she is a living example of how it looks to listen and speak slowly.
So, how do I model this listening and slow speech I see in my friend? I was asking the Lord this question when I thought of a phrase in the Bible. It is so practical to my learning process, it made me laugh. The phrase which came to my mind was "PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH!" This was definitely the Lord speaking directly to me. He always lightens my deep thoughts with laughter and practical help. So, I got out my Bible and found that the whole verse was exactly what I needed. Proverbs 30:32 says; "If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, put your hand over your mouth!" Now, I can't remember the last time I planned evil, but I can recall many times that I have been foolish and exalted myself. It was helpful for me to see my quick words and bad listening skills as foolishness and pride. Sometimes the truth hurts for a few seconds but then it is so freeing. If I am thoughtless and impulsive in the things I say when I really should be listening, I will regret saying those things. And I would like to decrease my ratio of regretful statements to blessings.
As I reflected on the year, 2011, I really felt the Lord putting the emphasis on my mouth. Sometimes we find our greatest weakness rests in the area of our greatest strength. If you read my last blog in 2011, you would see it was about making sure to bless with a "Gift of Words." The Lord assured me to let every word of blessing flow without restraint from my mouth, but also to be disciplined when other words are formulating in my heart. Words such as advice or reproof or plans or angry outbursts. My mouth is meant to bless and not to curse (James 3:10). If what I am about to say is not absolutely, for sure, a blessing, then I will follow this simple resolution in 2012: I will "put my hand over my mouth!"
So, why is this friend a great listener? She is a wise and mature Christian woman. She models "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." from James 1:19. (It is funny that James says "Everyone..." Try to count on one hand those you know who are "quick to listen and slow to speak"). So, not only is my friend a great listener but she fascinates me with how slowly she chooses her words. She chooses them so carefully, I can see her contemplating whether she should say them or not. This requires so much discipline. It makes me think she is not only listening to me, but checking her answer in prayer with the Lord. It is safe to say that when she speaks, I listen, and I listen carefully. Because she is "slow to speak," her words tend to be profound! This is another quality I aspire to! It is nice to have someone in my life who is such a great example to me of listening and thoughtful speaking. Although I am sure she is not perfect in this area, she is a living example of how it looks to listen and speak slowly.
So, how do I model this listening and slow speech I see in my friend? I was asking the Lord this question when I thought of a phrase in the Bible. It is so practical to my learning process, it made me laugh. The phrase which came to my mind was "PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH!" This was definitely the Lord speaking directly to me. He always lightens my deep thoughts with laughter and practical help. So, I got out my Bible and found that the whole verse was exactly what I needed. Proverbs 30:32 says; "If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, put your hand over your mouth!" Now, I can't remember the last time I planned evil, but I can recall many times that I have been foolish and exalted myself. It was helpful for me to see my quick words and bad listening skills as foolishness and pride. Sometimes the truth hurts for a few seconds but then it is so freeing. If I am thoughtless and impulsive in the things I say when I really should be listening, I will regret saying those things. And I would like to decrease my ratio of regretful statements to blessings.
As I reflected on the year, 2011, I really felt the Lord putting the emphasis on my mouth. Sometimes we find our greatest weakness rests in the area of our greatest strength. If you read my last blog in 2011, you would see it was about making sure to bless with a "Gift of Words." The Lord assured me to let every word of blessing flow without restraint from my mouth, but also to be disciplined when other words are formulating in my heart. Words such as advice or reproof or plans or angry outbursts. My mouth is meant to bless and not to curse (James 3:10). If what I am about to say is not absolutely, for sure, a blessing, then I will follow this simple resolution in 2012: I will "put my hand over my mouth!"
Friday, December 30, 2011
Gift of Words!
I celebrated my 47th birthday this week. We always get together as a family for each family member's birthday throughout the year. We have several traditions associated with our birthday parties. Usually, I cook the birthday person's favorite meal. Then, we always have a Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream cake. Along with a few other things, we participate in a tradition we call "Gift of Words." This is my favorite tradition of our birthday celebrations.
During this tradition, each family member takes a moment to share something with the birthday girl or boy--something they love about that person or something special about the person or maybe something special that they shared with that person during the year. It is always the highlight of our parties and is the greatest gift we receive on our birthday.
This year, my children got a bit emotional during our time and we cried many happy tears. I am so glad we have incorporated these "Gift of Words" ceremonies into our family celebrations. As I reflected on the things said to me by my family, I was surprised by the great way my family can articulate their feelings. Even my three-year-old grandson was clear in his expression of gratitude for "taking good care of him." Everyone shared different things from deep in their heart and soul. I was proud of them and assured them they are truly easy to love and take care of!
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says; "...encourage one another and build eachother up..." In certain translations of the Bible, the word "edify" is used in the place of "build eachother up." The word edify means; "build-up, establish, uplift, enlighten, and inform." I am always very careful to actively listen as my family informs me of what I have been communicating to them with my actions each year. This is a great way for me to be uplifted and also to understand what is important to them. For example, my youngest daughter said I always "make her feel at home even when she is gone away at college." Well, this comment really blessed my soul. I had prayed about what I could offer her when she went away to college. I set a goal to "be present in her life." So in this "Gift of Words" she confirmed I had heard from the Lord about what she needed and I had done a good job completing the goal.
Sometimes I feel it is so much more likely in our culture to communicate things that are going wrong and need to be changed in a person's life. I try to spend my days noticing the precious qualities I see in people and following through on sharing it with them. God has created people so differently and with so many qualities that are "in the image of God." It blesses Jesus when we rejoice in the people He has created.
I think this "Gift of Words" ceremony over the years has helped me (and my family members) to be more expressive about my feelings to those around me. I try to make sure I do not hold back any positive thoughts I am feeling about people. When I have an endearing thought or encouragement for someone, I blurt it out before I have time to analyze whether it is "worthy" to be said or not. Of course I should say it! If it is sincere and heartfelt then what am I waiting for?
So, go give someone a "Gift of Words" today! You will be building them up, establishing them, uplifting them, enlightening them, and informing them! Trust me, they need to be encouraged and we need to be free to share the loving thoughts that enter our hearts!
During this tradition, each family member takes a moment to share something with the birthday girl or boy--something they love about that person or something special about the person or maybe something special that they shared with that person during the year. It is always the highlight of our parties and is the greatest gift we receive on our birthday.
This year, my children got a bit emotional during our time and we cried many happy tears. I am so glad we have incorporated these "Gift of Words" ceremonies into our family celebrations. As I reflected on the things said to me by my family, I was surprised by the great way my family can articulate their feelings. Even my three-year-old grandson was clear in his expression of gratitude for "taking good care of him." Everyone shared different things from deep in their heart and soul. I was proud of them and assured them they are truly easy to love and take care of!
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says; "...encourage one another and build eachother up..." In certain translations of the Bible, the word "edify" is used in the place of "build eachother up." The word edify means; "build-up, establish, uplift, enlighten, and inform." I am always very careful to actively listen as my family informs me of what I have been communicating to them with my actions each year. This is a great way for me to be uplifted and also to understand what is important to them. For example, my youngest daughter said I always "make her feel at home even when she is gone away at college." Well, this comment really blessed my soul. I had prayed about what I could offer her when she went away to college. I set a goal to "be present in her life." So in this "Gift of Words" she confirmed I had heard from the Lord about what she needed and I had done a good job completing the goal.
Sometimes I feel it is so much more likely in our culture to communicate things that are going wrong and need to be changed in a person's life. I try to spend my days noticing the precious qualities I see in people and following through on sharing it with them. God has created people so differently and with so many qualities that are "in the image of God." It blesses Jesus when we rejoice in the people He has created.
I think this "Gift of Words" ceremony over the years has helped me (and my family members) to be more expressive about my feelings to those around me. I try to make sure I do not hold back any positive thoughts I am feeling about people. When I have an endearing thought or encouragement for someone, I blurt it out before I have time to analyze whether it is "worthy" to be said or not. Of course I should say it! If it is sincere and heartfelt then what am I waiting for?
So, go give someone a "Gift of Words" today! You will be building them up, establishing them, uplifting them, enlightening them, and informing them! Trust me, they need to be encouraged and we need to be free to share the loving thoughts that enter our hearts!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Celebrate Life!
Last Friday, I went to a "Celebration of Life" service at a local church. The woman who had passed away was the mother of one of my youngest daughter's closest friends. I had met this woman a few times, but did not have the opportunity to know her. As I listened, I found out what was important to her and what her life had meant to so many people! She was an amazing woman! Although her life was shorter than some, she had made a huge impact on all those around her. She was 55 when she went home to be with the Lord.
As I have gotten older, I have been to many services to honor and say good-bye to those who have passed away. It is a reminder to me that my time will come. I rest in knowing God says in Psalm 139:16; "...All of the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be." God knows all of my days on this earth. He has had them written in His book before I was even born. He has everything under control. He knows! And because He knows, I don't need to know! I can rest and trust Him to lead me each day!
But, what I do know is that we are all facing death. It is in the cards for all of us. And no one knows when it will come. Today, tomorrow or in 40 years. I believe it is a benefit to me to be mindful of the known fact of death and the unknown fact of when it will come in my life. This mindfulness has lead me to live out as many moments as I can in a present and intentional way. What I mean is even as I look forward to Christmas, I try to make sure I do not overlook the moments until then. Sometimes I feel we can look forward to something so much, we can accidentally wish away the days in between. This is something that I did when I was younger, but wisdom has stopped me from doing this today. Each moment is a precious blessing with the opportunity to make a huge difference!
As I reflect on the words spoken about this woman whom I did not know, I believe she lived a very successful life. I come to this conclusion because of the following testimonies from her family and friends. She laughed a lot! She loved deeply! She enjoyed people and the beautiful things God has given us in this world. She expressed her feelings without leaving unknowns! She gave her blessing to her children! She lived with conviction! She helped many people! She lived with great meaning! She used her creative energy! She did what only she could do! Most of all, she knew Jesus in this life and she is with Him now in eternity!
As I celebrate the birth and life of Jesus in this Christmas season, I will celebrate each moment! And I will give those that love me the gift of living each of my days here to the fullest! Loving, blessing, rejoicing, expressing, enjoying, making memories! Then, when it is time for me to go home, those I love will have every reason to celebrate my life! For my life will have been a testimony to the joy of Jesus and the life after that awaits in eternity! Celebrate life!
As I have gotten older, I have been to many services to honor and say good-bye to those who have passed away. It is a reminder to me that my time will come. I rest in knowing God says in Psalm 139:16; "...All of the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be." God knows all of my days on this earth. He has had them written in His book before I was even born. He has everything under control. He knows! And because He knows, I don't need to know! I can rest and trust Him to lead me each day!
But, what I do know is that we are all facing death. It is in the cards for all of us. And no one knows when it will come. Today, tomorrow or in 40 years. I believe it is a benefit to me to be mindful of the known fact of death and the unknown fact of when it will come in my life. This mindfulness has lead me to live out as many moments as I can in a present and intentional way. What I mean is even as I look forward to Christmas, I try to make sure I do not overlook the moments until then. Sometimes I feel we can look forward to something so much, we can accidentally wish away the days in between. This is something that I did when I was younger, but wisdom has stopped me from doing this today. Each moment is a precious blessing with the opportunity to make a huge difference!
As I reflect on the words spoken about this woman whom I did not know, I believe she lived a very successful life. I come to this conclusion because of the following testimonies from her family and friends. She laughed a lot! She loved deeply! She enjoyed people and the beautiful things God has given us in this world. She expressed her feelings without leaving unknowns! She gave her blessing to her children! She lived with conviction! She helped many people! She lived with great meaning! She used her creative energy! She did what only she could do! Most of all, she knew Jesus in this life and she is with Him now in eternity!
As I celebrate the birth and life of Jesus in this Christmas season, I will celebrate each moment! And I will give those that love me the gift of living each of my days here to the fullest! Loving, blessing, rejoicing, expressing, enjoying, making memories! Then, when it is time for me to go home, those I love will have every reason to celebrate my life! For my life will have been a testimony to the joy of Jesus and the life after that awaits in eternity! Celebrate life!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Don't Wait for Tomorrow!
I had lunch with a friend this week. I met her at Hope Cottage which is a homeless shelter I volunteer at. When I met her, she had been homeless for many years. She was defeated in life and hiding from herself and everyone else too. God gave me a great love for this woman! He reminded me to pray for her all the time! I knew from the day I met her, she had significant meaning in my life. So I followed the Lord in our relationship. I have known her for about 3 years now. She is a close friend.
At lunch she said something that has struck me. She said, "I feel like, it is my time now!" When I heard her I rejoiced out loud in the restaurant. (Not too loud.) This blessed me so much. I remember a time when my friend was barely living and always waiting for tomorrow. These words expressed the victory of Jesus in her heart and soul! So we rejoiced together.
When I met this friend, she did not know Jesus. She had no idea how much God loved her. She had no idea how valuable she was to the people around her and to God Himself. She did not understand she was created with a purpose and that the Lord had given her clues in her DNA about what that purpose was. For many years, she was ignoring the desires within herself to be who God created her to be. In essence, she was in a perpetual state of waiting instead of taking action toward the meaning of her creation.
Many people ask me day after day, "How do I know what my purpose is?" I have spent much of my life searching for this answer. I believe that on most days, I do function in the purpose for which God has created me. How did I figure it out? I searched within for what God put it me from the beginning and then I ventured out to practice and experiment and try to follow the directional arrows the Lord placed before me. I walked through the open doors He put in front of me even if I felt some fear. I did all this as I was bathing my life with the Word of God, the presence of God, and I did it with a willing heart. I realized that His plan for my life was better than mine and my ultimate satisfaction comes from fulfilling my God given purpose.
I have been listening to a song the last few days that has caused me to dance and sing in my car and in my kitchen and through my life in general! It is called, "Why am I waiting for tomorrow?" by Mandisa. Here are a few of the lyrics;
I can't live my whole life wasting
All the grace that I know You've given
'Cause You made me for so much more than
Sitting on the sidelines
I don't wanna look back and wonder
If good enough could have been better
Every day's a day borrowed
So why am I waiting for tomorrow?
Why am I waiting for tomorrow?
It has been a pleasure watching my friend over the last three years go from homelessness and hopelessness to renting a room and having a future filled with hope. She is 58 years old and now registered to take classes at our local community college. This has been a dream of hers since she can remember. She has always loved to learned but has been waiting for years and years for the right time. I am glad that she expressed, "Now is my time!" I believe that now is your time too. So whatever you have been waiting for, whatever is in your heart and DNA, whatever your dreams and hopes; don't wait for tomorrow! It does not matter if you are old or young or somewhere in the middle. Now is your time! God has created you for "such a time as this."
At lunch she said something that has struck me. She said, "I feel like, it is my time now!" When I heard her I rejoiced out loud in the restaurant. (Not too loud.) This blessed me so much. I remember a time when my friend was barely living and always waiting for tomorrow. These words expressed the victory of Jesus in her heart and soul! So we rejoiced together.
When I met this friend, she did not know Jesus. She had no idea how much God loved her. She had no idea how valuable she was to the people around her and to God Himself. She did not understand she was created with a purpose and that the Lord had given her clues in her DNA about what that purpose was. For many years, she was ignoring the desires within herself to be who God created her to be. In essence, she was in a perpetual state of waiting instead of taking action toward the meaning of her creation.
Many people ask me day after day, "How do I know what my purpose is?" I have spent much of my life searching for this answer. I believe that on most days, I do function in the purpose for which God has created me. How did I figure it out? I searched within for what God put it me from the beginning and then I ventured out to practice and experiment and try to follow the directional arrows the Lord placed before me. I walked through the open doors He put in front of me even if I felt some fear. I did all this as I was bathing my life with the Word of God, the presence of God, and I did it with a willing heart. I realized that His plan for my life was better than mine and my ultimate satisfaction comes from fulfilling my God given purpose.
I have been listening to a song the last few days that has caused me to dance and sing in my car and in my kitchen and through my life in general! It is called, "Why am I waiting for tomorrow?" by Mandisa. Here are a few of the lyrics;
I can't live my whole life wasting
All the grace that I know You've given
'Cause You made me for so much more than
Sitting on the sidelines
I don't wanna look back and wonder
If good enough could have been better
Every day's a day borrowed
So why am I waiting for tomorrow?
Why am I waiting for tomorrow?
It has been a pleasure watching my friend over the last three years go from homelessness and hopelessness to renting a room and having a future filled with hope. She is 58 years old and now registered to take classes at our local community college. This has been a dream of hers since she can remember. She has always loved to learned but has been waiting for years and years for the right time. I am glad that she expressed, "Now is my time!" I believe that now is your time too. So whatever you have been waiting for, whatever is in your heart and DNA, whatever your dreams and hopes; don't wait for tomorrow! It does not matter if you are old or young or somewhere in the middle. Now is your time! God has created you for "such a time as this."
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
There Is Pain!
I have a guitar. It is a very useful tool in my life. It helps me get to a place of acceptance when my pain level is rising and I am feeling overwhelmed. I have never taken a guitar lesson. I don't really play guitar. But when my soul is in anguish and I need to express my feelings, I get out my guitar and start strumming.
Well, tonight was one of those nights. In the last few days, several things have been weighing heavy on my heart. I have been over-eating, over-thinking, and filling my time with activity to avoid pain. Where pain is concerned, I would rather go anywhere else.
The truth is we live in a broken world! Things are not right all over the place. I live with regrets over bad decisions I have made and the consequences! Then, there are the choices other people have made which have deeply hurt me. There are circumstances I wish I could change in my life and the lives of those around me. Things I wish I could fix that I cannot!
As I was reflecting on this in my prayer time, I was reminded of a verse in Revelation 21:4. In this verse God promises he will wipe away all of our tears. In a description of heaven, He says; "There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain." In this promise, I realized something. Although He is promising no pain in heaven we can be sure there WILL be pain here.
This truth extends to my attempts to defer pain and suffering for those I love by making sacrifices for them. What I've learned is that no matter how sacrificial I am, I still can't stop pain from coming their way. My efforts are futile! The only answer is for me to learn to live with these realities.
Personally, I try to stick with God on everything and make right decisions. Even in these efforts to please God, I know He did not intend for me to live a painless existence while I am on earth. Pain is part of the journey. It is comforting to know that when I get overwhelmed with pain, God has given me a way to deal with the build-up of emotions. A long hard cry!
So, that is what I did. I got out my guitar and quieted my soul. I gave myself the space to feel the pain. I stopped running! Stopped eating! Stopped thinking! I stopped trying to fix everything! And I cried! I told the Lord through my tears what was burdening my heart! And He listened! Jesus said in Matthew 5:4; "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Mourning over the brokenness in this world and in my own life is healthy. And Jesus is there to comfort me!
I can't say my heart is completely healed! It still hurts! But, I did relieve some pressure with my tears! I have entered into an exhausted state that comes after crying. It is much more peaceful! It is kind of a "giving up" in a healthy sort of way. I have given up striving and surrendered to the fact of pain in my life and in the lives of those that I love. I have received comfort from the Lord as I spent some time mourning over sin! One day, I will be in a place where pain will not exist! Until then, I will surrender to the truth! There is pain!
Well, tonight was one of those nights. In the last few days, several things have been weighing heavy on my heart. I have been over-eating, over-thinking, and filling my time with activity to avoid pain. Where pain is concerned, I would rather go anywhere else.
The truth is we live in a broken world! Things are not right all over the place. I live with regrets over bad decisions I have made and the consequences! Then, there are the choices other people have made which have deeply hurt me. There are circumstances I wish I could change in my life and the lives of those around me. Things I wish I could fix that I cannot!
As I was reflecting on this in my prayer time, I was reminded of a verse in Revelation 21:4. In this verse God promises he will wipe away all of our tears. In a description of heaven, He says; "There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain." In this promise, I realized something. Although He is promising no pain in heaven we can be sure there WILL be pain here.
This truth extends to my attempts to defer pain and suffering for those I love by making sacrifices for them. What I've learned is that no matter how sacrificial I am, I still can't stop pain from coming their way. My efforts are futile! The only answer is for me to learn to live with these realities.
Personally, I try to stick with God on everything and make right decisions. Even in these efforts to please God, I know He did not intend for me to live a painless existence while I am on earth. Pain is part of the journey. It is comforting to know that when I get overwhelmed with pain, God has given me a way to deal with the build-up of emotions. A long hard cry!
So, that is what I did. I got out my guitar and quieted my soul. I gave myself the space to feel the pain. I stopped running! Stopped eating! Stopped thinking! I stopped trying to fix everything! And I cried! I told the Lord through my tears what was burdening my heart! And He listened! Jesus said in Matthew 5:4; "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Mourning over the brokenness in this world and in my own life is healthy. And Jesus is there to comfort me!
I can't say my heart is completely healed! It still hurts! But, I did relieve some pressure with my tears! I have entered into an exhausted state that comes after crying. It is much more peaceful! It is kind of a "giving up" in a healthy sort of way. I have given up striving and surrendered to the fact of pain in my life and in the lives of those that I love. I have received comfort from the Lord as I spent some time mourning over sin! One day, I will be in a place where pain will not exist! Until then, I will surrender to the truth! There is pain!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
My Strength Lost Control!
The other morning, I was walking through my bathroom and noticed my pull-up bar. Due to a car accident this summer, pull-ups have been off limits for me per my physical therapist. There is something very satisfying to me about the strenuous nature of pull-ups; however, I had been resisting the temptation.
But in this moment, as I looked at the bar, I felt the urge to flex my muscles. It was an impulse and I knew it was probably not a good idea. So, before I came to my senses,I quickly took action. I grabbed the bar and began to pull. When I was almost to the top with my body slightly slanted in front of the bar, something shocking happened. The bar dislodged and at the speed of gravity (9.8 meters per second squared), I fell flat on my back. (Seriously, I thought things like this only happened in sitcoms!) Luckily, my back and my bottom took the brunt of the fall, and my head did not hit.
Normally, when I do pull-ups, I check the bar and tighten it to make sure it will hold me. In the rush of doing something I shouldn't have been doing, I did not take this precaution. Bottom line was, my strength had lost control (read on and this will make sense)! Just because I can do a pull-up, does not mean I should. This lesson applies to many areas of my life.
As I have reflected on this foolish act, I was reminded of the list of the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. From an apple tree comes apples. From the Spirit of God living in me comes a list of "fruits" which includes; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness (meekness), and self-control. In this action, I definitely was not seeing patience, meekness/gentleness or self-control exhibited. Meekness means, "restraint coupled with strength and courage" or "strength under control." Meekness or gentleness deals with the ability to hold back strength in an instance when you could use it.
A great bible story that shows an example of meekness is found in 1 Samuel 24. King Saul, who was the king of Israel, was hunting David for years. David was living a lifestyle of running and hiding from King Saul. One day while King Saul was looking for David to kill him, he decided to go into a cave to use the restroom. (There were no port-a-potties back then.) Well, David and his men happened to be hiding in that same cave. Saul was in a very vulnerable position. It would have been easy for David to kill him and relieve his life of this predator. But, instead of killing him, David cut off the corner of King Saul's robe. This was a true act of restrained strength and courage. Later, he showed the corner of the robe to King Saul to prove he was not planning to harm him. I can learn a lot from this great act of meekness. This was true strength!!
This incident in my life has given me an incentive to practice deferring my strength in some situations. I don't have to hit every kill shot in the racquetball game! I don't have to win every argument! I don't have to be the one to answer every question when I know the answer! I don't have to run up and jump over every rock I see! This is a discipline that requires much more strength than just letting myself act impulsively and out of control. My strengths can be considered a weakness without His strength in control!
I am counting on the strength of the Holy Spirit together with my cooperation to help me have fewer moments where I land flat on my back! I love the way God can take a situation and help me to draw out practical application for my life. It is great to know He is WITH me and there to pick me up when I fall!
But in this moment, as I looked at the bar, I felt the urge to flex my muscles. It was an impulse and I knew it was probably not a good idea. So, before I came to my senses,I quickly took action. I grabbed the bar and began to pull. When I was almost to the top with my body slightly slanted in front of the bar, something shocking happened. The bar dislodged and at the speed of gravity (9.8 meters per second squared), I fell flat on my back. (Seriously, I thought things like this only happened in sitcoms!) Luckily, my back and my bottom took the brunt of the fall, and my head did not hit.
Normally, when I do pull-ups, I check the bar and tighten it to make sure it will hold me. In the rush of doing something I shouldn't have been doing, I did not take this precaution. Bottom line was, my strength had lost control (read on and this will make sense)! Just because I can do a pull-up, does not mean I should. This lesson applies to many areas of my life.
As I have reflected on this foolish act, I was reminded of the list of the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. From an apple tree comes apples. From the Spirit of God living in me comes a list of "fruits" which includes; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness (meekness), and self-control. In this action, I definitely was not seeing patience, meekness/gentleness or self-control exhibited. Meekness means, "restraint coupled with strength and courage" or "strength under control." Meekness or gentleness deals with the ability to hold back strength in an instance when you could use it.
A great bible story that shows an example of meekness is found in 1 Samuel 24. King Saul, who was the king of Israel, was hunting David for years. David was living a lifestyle of running and hiding from King Saul. One day while King Saul was looking for David to kill him, he decided to go into a cave to use the restroom. (There were no port-a-potties back then.) Well, David and his men happened to be hiding in that same cave. Saul was in a very vulnerable position. It would have been easy for David to kill him and relieve his life of this predator. But, instead of killing him, David cut off the corner of King Saul's robe. This was a true act of restrained strength and courage. Later, he showed the corner of the robe to King Saul to prove he was not planning to harm him. I can learn a lot from this great act of meekness. This was true strength!!
This incident in my life has given me an incentive to practice deferring my strength in some situations. I don't have to hit every kill shot in the racquetball game! I don't have to win every argument! I don't have to be the one to answer every question when I know the answer! I don't have to run up and jump over every rock I see! This is a discipline that requires much more strength than just letting myself act impulsively and out of control. My strengths can be considered a weakness without His strength in control!
I am counting on the strength of the Holy Spirit together with my cooperation to help me have fewer moments where I land flat on my back! I love the way God can take a situation and help me to draw out practical application for my life. It is great to know He is WITH me and there to pick me up when I fall!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)