Forgive Yourself

I was praying and talking to a friend a few weeks ago. She was struggling with feeling unworthy and not good enough. At one point, I asked her how far back she could remember feeling this way. She is close to 60 years old. She said to me; "I am going to tell you something that I have not told anyone." I could see the shame and guilt all over her face. She proceeded to tell me something she did in her early 20's. What she told me was a terrible thing. It was sin. It was horrific and I was sorry that my friend had this memory and had experienced this in her youth. But the important thing was to help my friend let this go so that she could live in the freedom from sin that God has created for us. One way that God sets us free from sin is that we no longer have to carry the burden of it and we can separate who we are from actions we have done in the past for which we are sorry.

It was clear to me that my friend was suffering from unforgiveness towards herself. I have suffered in my life from unforgiveness towards myself. I know the effect it has had on my freedom and even my health. King David says in Psalm 103:12; "...as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." Remember King David. He committed adultery and then sent the husband of the woman he committed adultery with to the front lines in a battle to make sure that he was killed. This sounds like murder to me. Then he married the dead man's wife. Yet, you can see that He understood the forgiveness of the Lord in this Psalm. He needed to understand this forgiveness or he could not move on with his life. In 2 Samuel 12, David is confronted by Nathan, the prophet, about this sin and in verse 13 he gets it and says; "I have sinned against the Lord." Remember that when we sin, we sin against the Lord. He is always hurt when we hurt others or ourselves because He loves us and those that we sin against. It is at this point that David is forgiven. When David realized his sin and was sorry to the Lord for what he had done, he was forgiven. In Hebrews 10:17 God says; "Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more." I love this quality about God. I wish that I could forget all the sins I have committed in my life and also those sins that have been committed against me. But it is comforting to know that when I go to my Father in heaven He does not even remember! He sees his daughter whom He loves and wants to spend time with and talk with and pour His love upon.

So, I knew the problem with my friend was not the forgiveness of the Lord. He is clear about how He forgives in the scriptures. I began to explain these things to my friend and she agreed that she had been forgiven by the Lord. At this point I asked her a hard question. I said; "If God has forgiven you and you have not forgiven yourself then what are you saying about God's standards compared to your standards?" She was quiet for a moment. She realized that she had raised a standard up that was higher than God's. We talked some more and came to the conclusion that if she was not forgiving herself, she was saying to God that He was wrong. She was saying that the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross was not enough. That His sacrifice was worthy to take away all of her other sins but that she was not willing to accept His sacrifice for this particular sin that she believed was the worst one.

At this point, my friend bowed her head and began to pray something like this; "Lord, Jesus, forgive me for my pride. Forgive me for holding this sin against myself for so many years. Jesus is enough. You made a perfect way for me through the sacrifice of Jesus. Lord, You knew what I was capable of, and you made sure the price was paid so that NOTHING could stand between You and me! Thank you, Lord! I believe You! You are more gracious and merciful than I can imagine! I am free!"

God made a way for ALL of us. Is there something that you are holding on to? Are you condemning yourself for something that God has already forgiven and FORGOTTEN? Is this affecting your freedom? Is this causing you to judge yourself harshly? Are you able to love your neighbors as YOURSELF? God has made a way for you. He has given everything!! His Only Begotten Son!! Will you accept this free gift? Will you run and leap through this life with the joy and adventure of Jesus!! Let it go!!