Accept the truth! Don't take the bait!

Recently, I spent some time with a person. A person who I want to care about me and my life. In our conversations, I kept trying to tell her what I was doing and how I was feeling and the feedback I was receiving clearly indicated that she does not care. When our time together was over, I felt empty and deeply hurt. My mind was racing and I was not thinking clearly. I was in a fog! I have spent the last several days processing this situation and I am hoping it will help someone else!

Now this is not the first time I have experienced this disappointment and discouragement after spending time with this person. So I have been trying to develop a plan that will relieve me from getting my heart broken over and over again. I know from the Lord that leaving this relationship would not be His will. I am a very important part of this person's life and she looks forward to our times together. I don't think she is aware of her lack of care and telling her would just lead to guilty feelings. She is under a lot of stress and lives in difficult circumstances. So confrontation or leaving the situation behind are not options.

In processing this information, a close friend and very wise woman gave me a good visual. She helped me to see this problem as a "hook." So the hook is the fact that she does not care and I get caught because of my unwillingness to believe this fact. Each time I am away from this person, I fantasize that she cares! So I go into the circumstance looking for the care I so desperately want. This is like a fish looking at a piece of bait on a hook. He is looking for food to nourish him, but he is staring at bait which will destroy him. If he goes after it, thinking it is food and something he needs for survival, then he gets hooked. If the fish were full and not in need of the food, maybe he would see more clearly and not take the bait.

So here is the plan. First of all, no more fantasizing that this person cares. The truth: she does not care. In Hebrews 13:5, it says; "...be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" This truth is much more important than the hook I was letting get imbedded in my soul. God cares! He shows me His love and care each day! He has sent many people into my life to love and care for me. One way I will prepare for the next time I see this uncaring person is to plan time around that difficult visit with others who DO care. This will give me a cushion on each side of our visit. This is a way of being gentle to myself. I will go into these dangerous waters as a well-fed fish. I will be full of the caring of God and the caring of my friends so I will not take the bait and get caught by the hook.

Do you have a relationship in your life that is destructive to you? Do you want them to care, to be proud, to love you, to accept you, etc.? Are you going into it over and over without accepting the truth? It is time to look straight at the truth and accept it! And although this relationship is not the way you want it to be, you have a choice to make! Maybe it is not God's will that you stay in this relationship at all. But if leaving is not an option, you need to ask yourself some questions: Are you going to take the bait? Or are you going to take care of yourself? Look around and see all God has provided for you! God is providing what you seek from this difficult relationship in other ways! Be content with what you have! Love this person without needing anything from them! You will be safe in the arms of your Heavenly Father! He will never leave you nor forsake you! I am making the choice, I don't want to be caught in this hook again. So if you are willing, let's do it together. Accept the truth! Don't take the bait!